stress

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How can I manage pastoral anxiety?

Pastor Bob is not doing great. He’s guessing the stress he’s feeling is not healthy. The feeling leaves him a little insecure, and he wonders whether he’s leading Green Pastures Church as well as he could be. 

Bob – like so many others – is a solo pastor. Sure, he has a team of co-leaders around him. They are good hearted people, faithful Christians, long term members, volunteers. 

Bob gets on well with all of them, although there’s one person – Charlie – whom he’s finding a little challenging lately. Charlie has a strong personality and doesn’t mind telling Bob what the church really should be doing. Bob feels pressured. Charlie has even said Bob should be doing more: more contact with church members, develop outreach opportunities, shorten his sermons a bit, give better application. The last time Charlie and Bob chatted, it was cordial enough, but Bob sensed they weren’t making headway. He guesses Charlie is thinking the same. Bob knows that when Charlie talks, people listen. And what if he’s talking? What if he’s sharing his thoughts about Bob?

Some nights Bob lies awake turning it all over. He’s really tired and needs sleep, but it doesn’t come easily. When he wakes he seems more exhausted than ever. There’s so much to do but his capacity is waning. And it’s not getting any better…

Bob wonders who he can talk to… 

He doesn’t want to burden his wife: she has enough on her plate with her own work and wrangling the kids. Bob doesn’t feel that comfortable talking with her about another Green Pastures leader, anyway. That could get awkward for both of them.

He considers talking with some other Green Pastures leaders. He’s hesitant because they all have good relationships with Charlie. Talking with them might mess with those loyalties. Besides, what would they think? He decides it’s all too risky.

There are other pastoral colleagues nearby, but Bob wonders whether they’d see him as a pastoral battler, or worse: a failure. In a weird way he’s thankful he’s not that close to any of them.

So along with the stress and confusion he feels, Bob is feels isolated and a little anxious. How can he sort this out? How can he find clarity? How can he unravel all his mixed emotions and complicated relationships?

Bob stares at his coffee, and wonders “is this what ministry is supposed to be?” Bob leaves the thought hanging. He doesn’t have any answers.

Whereas many in ordained ministry attest to fulfilment and joy in their calling, there are notable others reporting a low sense of well-being, feeling isolated, accessing counselling for strained personal and ministerial relationships, or requesting psychiatric referral or therapy for mental health issues.

Gubi, Korris & West, Reflective Practice Groups for Clergy,
University of Chester Press, 2020 p.57

This is where Professional Pastoral Supervision can really help Bob. Regular supervision sessions can provide a safe space for Bob to work through his situation. Over time, Bob can unravel the tangled bits and pieces, finding some clarity on how to move forward. 

Supervision sessions could help Bob

  • Rediscover his core calling. The reflexive sessions helping him to articulate what matters most and how he can serve his church best
  • Safely explore the situation with Charlie, discerning better responses and reviewing his perceptions about Charlie in the confidential context supervision provides
  • Apply his theological framework to develop better pastoral practice, working through new ideas and approaches that work better
  • Review his workload and consider how he might do things differently

Pastoral Supervision does not provide easy answers or quick fixes. A Supervisor will work with Bob’s ministry philosophy, respect his theological emphases, along with his church context, governance and polity. Professional Pastoral Supervision is an ideal context for personal pastoral development.

Read this to find out how Professional Pastoral Supervision can help you, or slip me a message or email. I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to work something out that helps you keep moving forward in healthy and sustainable ways.

Dave Groenenboom
Paraklesis Supervision
Horsfield Bay, NSW

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Come Thirsty

How do we deepen our walk with God when we’re already maxed out with too many commitments?
I’ve just started a new series at Gateway Church called “Come Thirsty” which seeks to draw us into a closer walk with God through gaining some faith rhythms and changing some of daily habits.
Yesterday’s introductory message considered the impact of our frantic pace of life on our faith. Typical, we are so busy, so fragmented, so glued to the screen that we neither hear the voice of our soul or the voice of God any more.
And when we do connect with God, we come with a list of requests – all the things we’re asking him to do for us, rarely taking the time to love and praise him for who he is.
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If this is the typical tone of our spirituality, then might it be true that we’re only loving God for what he gives, and not for who he is?
In contrast, the Bible presents a heart warming picture of loving God for who he is, and not first and foremost for what he gives . In Ps 131 David says
“…I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.” (Psalm 131:2, NIV)
But we’re so busy, so self absorbed, that all were doing is asking and requesting. We’re not weaned at all. And here’s the thing: if we don’t slow down, we’ll never be weaned. We’ll only ever think of God as one who gives us stuff: always at the breast seeking satisfaction.
But Psalm 131 presents a picture of someone who loves God for who he is, and not merely because of what he gives. This picture may be a little troubling, because this ‘loving God for who he is’ is not often our experience.
So, in order to hear our soul’s thirst for God, our challenge for the next two weeks is this
  • Find one block of 30 minutes per week for the next two weeks
  • As you enter into that 30 min period, simply pray “Lord, reveal yourself to me anew, let me feel my own soul’s thirst for you. Open my heart, my eyes, my ears to you. Let me love you for who you are.”
  • Do nothing else during that time: no reading, no prayer, no phone (turn it off!!), no writing, no speaking. Just wait and listen to your soul.
  • After 30 mins, write down your thoughts in a journal or a notes app
  • Sometime during these next two weeks , share your experiences with a friend

 

The full text of my message can be found at SermonandStudy.com and audio is available from our iTunes feed and from our webpage